Welcome to the July edition of The Tattler! As if the jaw-dropping tidbits below weren’t enough, I got some late breaking news just this morning. I may be nearing a major breakthrough in the creation of my signature Bloody Mary mix. Be sure and stay tuned for developments!
July Monthly Observances
National Horseradish Month
July Weekly Observances
Creative Maladjustment Week: 7-14
Nude Recreation Weekend: 6-12
Everybody Deserves A Massage Week: 19-25
Hemingway Look-alike Days: 23-26
Garlic Days: 24-26
July Daily Observances
7/4: Compliment Your Mirror Day
7/6: International Kissing Day or World Kiss Day
7/7: Global Forgiveness Day
7/7: Tell The Truth Day (probably not a coincidence that these last 2 are on the same day)
7/10: Piña Colada Day
7/13: Gruntled Workers Day
7/14: Chick-fil-A’s Cow Appreciation DayDress Like a cow and get free sandwich!
7/14: International Nude Day
7/18: Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day
7/21: Legal Drinking Age Day
7/23: Gorgeous Grandma Day
7/23: Hot Enough For Ya Day (who? Grandma?)
7/24: National Tequila Day
7/26: Aunties Day
7/27: Barbie-in-a-blender Day
7/27: Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day (garnish counts too)
7/30: Father-In-Law Day
7/30: Friendship Day
7/30: Paperback Book Day
Bloody Mary of the Month
Summertime means more time outdoors, being more active, and wearing fewer clothes. We look forward to summer all year, except when it comes to baring our winter flab to the world.
If you remember from chemistry class, alcohol is a solution, and I’ve got a great alcoholic solution to your weight loss problem. It’s a light, refreshing, summertime Bloody Mary that will peel off the pounds as fast as you can peel off your clothes.
3 oz. tomato juice
2 oz. vodka
Dash each fresh lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and Tabasco sauce
1 fresh lime wedge
Pour the tomato juice and seasonings over ice in a chilled Old Fashioned glass, and garnish with the lime. Serves 1.
How can this Bloody Mary help you lose weight, you ask? Let’s check the facts.
- Fact #1: Researchers from Arizona State University found that the vitamin C in citrus fruit, particularly lemons, is directly related to the body’s ability to burn fat for fuel. The more vitamin C in your diet, the more efficiently you metabolize fat.
- Fact #2: Drinking tomato juice before a meal can trick your body into feeling full, and you’ll wind up eating less.
- Fact #3: Studies have concluded that people who drink one or two cocktails a day will lose weight, as opposed to people who drink only occasionally, even if they eat the same foods. One study showed that among female twins, body fat actually decreases with more alcohol consumption.
- Fact #4: This slimmed-down version of the Bloody Mary you already love is going to be your new favorite way to keep the pounds off for summer.
I’m a bartender, and I’ve noticed lately that my wrists and hands get painful and tingly, especially when I’m shaking and pouring drinks. What can I do?
Feeling No Pain (I wish)
Hello, Pain, my hardworking hottie,
What you’re describing is the beginning of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. You’ve got to make some changes in the way you work and play to keep it from getting worse. Not to worry. My 20 years in physical therapy, and my familiarity with bartending, makes me uniquely qualified to help you.
First, let’s make sure you understand what’s going on in those hands of yours. The carpal tunnel is the space where your tendons, blood vessels, and nerves pass from your forearms to your hands. When they’re under excessive stress, the tissues in the tunnel swell, and this is what leads to the tingling, numbness, and pain you’re experiencing.
Sometimes wrist splints help, because they hold you in good alignment and help keep inflammation down. But they can be a pain in the ass to wear them while you’re working behind the bar. In more serious cases, your doctor might recommend surgery to make the tunnel bigger and release some of the pressure.
If you’re not ready for any of that yet, try some stretches. I found a great video series you can follow along with. Each one only takes a few minutes, and the exercises will really help relieve your symptoms and lower your risk of further damage. Part 1 is right here.
Now let’s bring some ergonomics to your work life. Keep your wrists straight as much as possible. Use the larger muscles in your shoulders and upper torso to do things like unscrew lids, shake cocktails, open wine bottles, and pull beer taps. Practice good posture. As Martha Graham once said, “Our arms start from the back because they were once wings.”
Hope that helps, Pain. Let me know how things go. Good luck! We need all the healthy bartenders we can get!