The Bloody Mary Tattler: April Edition

the bloody mary tattler: april editionGreetings, friends! The April edition of The Tattler is hot off the press – no foolin’! I’ve got lots of fun holidays to help you celebrate, fascinating information to share, and sage advice direct from the Bloody Mary mailbag. Enjoy!

 April is:

National Humor Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
Stress Awareness Month
Alcohol Awareness Month
Fresh Florida Tomatoes Month
Informed Women Month
International Twit Award Month
National Facial Protection Month
National Knuckles Down Month – ?
National Multiple Birth Awareness Month – something to be aware of, any month, if you ask me.
National Pest Management Month – all those births, after all…

April Weekly Observances:

Explore Your Career Options: 5-11
Bedbug Awareness Week:19-25
National Princess Week:19-25
Interstate Mullet Toss: 24-26

April Daily Observances:

4/1: National Fun Day
4/4: International Pillow Fight Day
4/4: Vitamin C Day
4/6: New Beers Eve
4/7: No Housework Day
4/12: Walk on Your Wild Side Day
4/13: Undiagnosed Children’s Awareness Day (you may be a child and not even know it)
4/16: Get to Know Your Customers Day – tell me something I don’t know about you!
4/16: National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day
4/17: Nothing Like A Dame Day
4/17: National Day of Silence (way to kill the buzz for Nothing Like A Dame Day)
4/18: Husband Appreciation Day
4/19: National Garlic Day
4/20: National Surprise Drug Test Day
4/23: Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day (now that the drug test is out of the way)
4/24: National Hairball Awareness Day – don’t you think you’d be aware if you had one?
4/25: Hug A Plumber Day
4/25: Parental Alienation Day – this is every day at my house.
4/26: Doo Dah Day
4/26: Hug An Australian Day (double up and hug an Australian plumber)
4/26: National Help A Horse Day
4/26: One Day Without Shoes Day – you, or the horse.
4/28: Kiss Your Mate Day
4/30: National Honesty Day – you’d rather kiss the plumber, or the horse.

Bloody Mary of the Month

 If you celebrate Passover at your house, you’re probably hunting high and low for products that don’t contain corn syrup or any type of grain. Good luck! That can put a serious damper on your alcoholic beverage options. Even if you don’t celebrate Passover, you might be avoiding corn syrup or gluten for other reasons. I know I am. Lips that touch GMOs will never touch mine.

As usual, beloved, you’ve come to the right place. This month I’m going to tell you about a Bloody Mary mix that is not only certified kosher, but it just may be my favorite mix in all of eternity. It’s McClure’s.

the bloody mary tattler: april editionThe first thing you’ll notice about this mix is all the fresh-picked yumminess floating around in the jar. This is the mix you would have made from scratch, if you had a garden full of ripe, glowing vegetables and the patience to chop it all up lovingly by hand. The second thing you’ll notice is a strong scent of pickles. Yeah, I know, pickles are for church picnics and the burger combo at Shari’s. But the smell of McClure’s mix reminds me of the kind of homemade pickly goodness that can only come from fresh cucumbers, garlic, dill, and vinegar. The third thing you’ll notice is that every other Bloody Mary mix is now second-rate.

Here’s the Bloody Mary recipe right from the McClure’s website:

INGREDIENTS

  • 3 oz. McClure’s Bloody Mary mix
  • 1.5 oz. vodka (see below)
  • Garnish with a McClure’s Pickle

DIRECTIONS

Serve over ice. Enjoy.

Certified kosher vodka

  • Absolut
  • Beluga
  • Eristoff
  • Finlandia
  • Grey Goose
  • Russian Standard
  • Smirnoff
  • Svedka
  • Van Gogh

Are you already a McClure’s fan? Share your recipes in the comments!

 Ask Judy

 Dear Judy,

 Why do Bloody Marys come with a straw AND a salted rim?

Sincerely, Bewildered in Bloomington

 Dear Bewildered,

Isn’t it lovely to be given choices in life? I certainly think so. If you are handed a drink that has both a straw and a salt rim, the bartender is doing you a great favor by allowing you to decide which is best for you.

Let’s say you don’t want to mess up your lipstick, or you’re trying to cut down on your salt consumption; then by all means go for the straw. You can always just take a teeny taste of the rim if you change your mind by dabbing it with the tip of your tongue (this is a VERY sexy move that’s guaranteed to get some attention, btw, so use it to your advantage). On the other hand, some rimming blends are made of all sorts of yummy things that aren’t salt, and those flavors help to take your Bloody Mary experience to the next level. You’d be missing out if you ignored the rim in that case.

If you want to try rimming at home (not THAT kind! We’ll discuss that in a future article.), here is the best way to do it. Run a lime or lemon wedge around the edge. Then roll the upside-down glass into whatever the dry ingredient is, which you’ll have in a shallow bowl or lipped plate. Try to get more of the stuff to stick on the outside of the glass where it can be seen, and where you can taste it on your tongue when you take a sip.

An intensely-flavored rim is perfect on a Bloody Mary so you can play with opposing but complementary elements. Like a bright, lemony Bloody and a smoky rim, or vice versa. Here are a few I’ve seen out there:   the bloody mary tattler: april edition

  •  a 1:1 mixture of rock salt and crushed peppercorns
  • crushed Doritos
  • crisp bacon, muddled with salt
  • any flavored salt, like lime, truffle, hickory, etc.
  • meat rub (there are lots of good recipes around, and can be made sweet or savory)

and my personal favorite, the one I save for New Year’s Eve:

  • unflavored Pop Rocks, available here.

Let me know what you come up with at your house. Happy rimming!

~ Judy

 

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