The Bloody Mary Tattler: March Edition

the bloody mary tattler: march editionHello again, Bloody Maryphiles! I’m back with more crazy, boozy, cocktological fun for you. This month, you’ll find plenty of drinking occasions to celebrate, garnish porn to ogle, and fascinating facts about the health benefits of alcohol. Let’s get started!


March is…
International Mirth Month
Optimism Month

March Weekly Observances

National Procrastination Week: 1-7
Universal Women’s Week: 8-14
Act Happy Week: 16-22 (Starts on 3rd Monday)

March Daily Observances

3/1: World Compliment Day
3/6: Day of The Dude
3/8: International Women’s Day
3/10: International Day of Awesomeness
3/13: Smart & Sexy Day
3/14: Steak and BJ Day (yep, you read that right)
3/15: True Confessions Day
3/16: Lips Appreciation Day
3/18: Forgive Mom and Dad Day
3/20: International Day of Happiness3/20: Proposal Day
3/20: Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day
3/21: National Common Courtesy Day
3/22: As Young As You Feel Day
3/22: International Goof-off Day
3/27: Viagra Day
3/28: Weed Appreciation Day
3/29: Mothering Sunday
3/30: Grass Is Always Browner On The Other Side Of The Fence Day
3/30: I Am In Control Day


Bloody Marys: part of a well-balanced diet

“Don’t play with your food!” My parents used to say. You’d think they had never had a Bloody Mary before. Bloody Marys are practically asking to be played with. How can you resist? You can turn the spiciness up or down. You can change the kind of liquor you use. You can shake it, stir it, or blend it. And let’s not forget about the garnish: there’s a reason they’re called a Meal in a Glass.

Last year, I had the good fortune to have the two most authentic Bloody Marys on earth: one at Harry’s New York Bar in Paris, where Bloody Marys were first invented, and one at the St. Regis Hotel in New York City. What I remember most about them was the total lack of garnish on either one. I mean, compared to the Bloody Marys I’m used to, I felt kind of cheated. The garnish is almost my favorite part!

The art and the science of creating a memorable Bloody Mary is a tricky balancing act, as are the drinks you’re about to see. Thank goodness there are people who, despite what their parents say, still play with their food, just so you and I can start our day with a balanced breakfast.

the bloody mary tattler: march editionthe bloody mary tattler: march editionthe bloody mary tattler: march edition

1. O’Davey’s Irish Pub – Fond du Lac, WI

2. By comedian Randy Liedtke.

3. I can’t read the name of the pub on the glass; all I can make out is Fond du Lac, WI.

4. Score on Davie in Vancouver, BC


6. I forget…is that your doing, Sarah Jayne Pickart?

7. Sobelman’s Pub & Grill, Milwaukee, WI.


Unfortunately, I’m no closer to bottling a mix than I was last month. I tried a different recipe this time. Once again, it was terrific right out of the shaker, but as soon as I cooked it and cooled it again (like the Feds make me do to ensure shelf stability), it turned out completely different. This time, it was way too salty. It’s a wonder any processed food gets made at all – it’s hard! But I am making it harder than it has to be, because I’m committed to using only vegan and organic ingredients, and no chemical additives. Only the best for my Bloody Mary tribe!

Speaking of no chemical additives, did anybody see my webinar last month, The Skinny on Chemicals & Weight Gain? Of course you didn’t, because apparently nobody did. The stupid software worked fine on my end, but it was incompatible with most people’s computers or tablets or whatever. Technology sucks, at least when I try to use it. No wonder I drink.

I do have some good news, though. Bloody Mary bookmarks are flying off the shelves! Get yours before they’re gone!


 Dear Judy,

 I loved last month’s Tattler where you explained some of the health benefits of vodka, but I’m more of a whiskey drinker. Is vodka the only kind of alcohol that’s good for you?

 I’m glad you brought this up, because it’s the basis of my online class Wicked Smart Cocktails. There are ways to use booze as a wellness tool, provided you’re not pregnant, underage, or recovering from a substance abuse issue.

Light to moderate alcohol consumption is associated with lowered risk of diabetes.

Moderate drinkers enjoy lower inflammatory markers. Inflammation is at the root of nearly every known disease – congestive heart failure, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, strokes, and obstructive pulmonary disease. In middle age, when heart disease begins to show up as a leading cause of death, drinking in moderation improves cardiovascular health. C-Reactive Protein, or CRP, is a protein produced by the liver when inflammation is detected. CRP levels can and should be tested at your doctor’s office with a simple blood test. High CRP signals a greater risk for heart attack and stroke.

In the elderly, drinking alcohol helps reduce stress, increase appetite, improve bowel function, and elevate mood.

Women with normal BMI ratios who drink moderately have a lower risk of obesity than non-drinkers.

But the bottom line? As promising as all this sounds, I don’t want you to go out and start drinking more than usual so that you’ll be even healthier. I just want you to feel good about the benefits you’re already getting, when all you tend to hear about are the dangers. Excessive amounts of ANYTHING can be harmful, no matter if it’s booze, flax seeds, or foreplay.

When it comes to choosing what to drink, I hate to say it, because I like whiskey, too – I LOVE me some Fireball with a little hot water in the wintertime. But the truth is, vodka does stack up a little better than whiskey. Brownish-colored spirits will almost certainly make more trouble for you in the morning than clear spirits. That’s because they have more impurities in them called congeners. These little devils are largely responsible for the headache part of your hangover. Congeners are toxic chemicals that are formed during fermentation, and darker liquors have more of them because they’re not filtered the same way or as many times as clear spirits are.

For instance:
* Scotch whiskey has about four times more congeners than gin.
* Brandy, rum and single-malt scotch have about six times more than gin.
* Bourbon has eight times more congeners than gin, and thirty times more than vodka.
* Red wine has more congeners than white wine does.

If you’re paying attention, you’ll see that gin has more congeners than vodka, even though they’re both clear spirits. Again, that’s because of the fermentation and distilling process. Vodka is filtered much more than gin, which is also why it has very little flavor or odor.

So the take-home message is this: vodka AND whiskey are good for you, but if you’re going to drink a lot of something, go for the vodka.

Now, as far as the healthiest mixers go, and when and how much to drink, and what to do if you’re hung over, that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. You should maybe think about taking the class to find out more.

That’s all the news I have to tattle about this month. See you next time!



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