In Lola’s day, it was easy to spot the difference between a girl who was brought up around nature, and a girl who has spent her life in the city. Lola refers to that quality as elasticity. No, she wasn’t talking about the sexual kind. An elastic woman “is like a wood-nymph, with a foot as light as that of the goddess, whose flying step scarcely brushed the unbending corn, whose conscious limbs and agile grace moved in harmony with the light of her sparkling eyes.” Compared to her city cousin, encased in hoops and stays and buckles, an elastic gal sounds like way more fun to be.
But how did each of them come to be the way they are?
1. Country girls are early to bed, and early to rise. City girls crawl into bed in the wee hours, and haul themselves out at midday.
2. Country girls bounce through their day, singing and laughing with the sheer joy of their own excellent health. City girls “mope through the tedious rounds of daily dullness with a jaded body and a feverish mind.”
To city girls everywhere – there is hope. Whenever elegant but languid ladies in France and Italy find themselves in need of elasticity, they mix up the following liquid:
8 oz deer fat
6 oz olive oil
3 oz virgin wax
1 grain of musk
1/2 pint white brandy
4 oz rose water
Melt everything together over low heat, then allow to cool. Rub some all over your body at bedtime. In the morning, wipe it off with a cold, damp sponge. Over time, you will see a dramatic increase in your elasticity, regardless of the hours you keep or how little you tend to bounce.
Try as I might, I just could not come up with a recipe to go with this piece of Lola-wisdom. Instead, I decided to introduce you to a real-life Bloody Mary, and if the stories are true, she’s as elastic as they come. This excerpt is on page 124 of my book.
Ask anyone in New Orleans who the number one expert on voodoo is, and they’ll tell you it’s Bloody Mary. Voodoo queen, shaman, healer, storyteller, historian, medium, lightworker, psychic, and ghost hunter, she also happens to be descended from another famous Bloody Mary, Queen Mary I. She has appeared on The History Channel, A & E, and CNN. Visitors to The Big Easy say her Tour of the Undead is not to be missed. She can even perform weddings (www.bloodymarystours.com).
There are more real-life Bloody Marys to meet, more fun facts, and more darn delicious Bloody Marys than you can shake a stick at in my book Bloody Marys: Sanguine Solutions for a Slew of Situations. Pick up your copy today at your neighborhood bookstore, or right here on the website (that way I can autograph it for you).